Because my job frequently requires me to travel with large quantities of books and documents, I have a very compact, folding two wheel cart or "dolly" that resides in my office. It is a handy device and makes me the envy of my colleagues who also travel with large quantities of books and documents. Consequently, dolly would disappear for days at a time. This was both aggravating and debilitating; so, I set my mind to discerning a solution. Then it hit me, I needed a dolly lo-jack. Unfortunately, it turns out that the cost of a radio frequency satellite capable auto location device greatly exceeds the replacement cost of a two wheeled cart. Actually, it turns out that it greatly exceeds the replacement cost of several dozen dollies. So, I settled for a bicycle chain connected to the sewing machine base that serves as my computer table. I suspect it is the only such set up in all the known universe.
This low tech effort at security caused me to consider the other things wife 2.0 and I strive to protect. There is a bicycle tethered to the rail on our front porch that I wish someone would steal. On the other hand, my gas grill, the ultimate expression of the manly arts, stands bravely unguarded on the same porch and has remained unmolested for the last five years. I suppose it can be argued the beagles, Ralph and Mocha, "protect" the house though they would be easily distracted by a pork chop or a friendly scratch behind the ears. 2.0 protects her sewing room by threat of immediate death; though, I suspect like the bicycle on the front porch, it is an object not worthy of serious attention. 2.0 guards her health through serious efforts at exercise and nutrition though in my case, those were "stolen" many years ago.
My great grandfather died more than 100 years ago and his grave marker was an incredible monument until vandals destroyed it a few months ago. Apparently there are some things we just can't protect.
2.0 and I have attempted to "protect" child 2.0's future (actually, for wife 2.0, he is child 1.0; but, that is a story for another day) by insisting he do his homework, observe the scout law and wash behind his ears. We have locks on the camper and a genuine Masterlock (patent pending in all 50 states and 31 countries) on the gate to the back yard. On the other hand, there is nothing in the back yard but the beagles, Ralph and Mocha, who much like the well chained, though never used bicycle, could disappear with no serious angst on my part.
So, at the end of the day, there is no rhyme or reason to the things we protect; but, I still wish I had a lo-jack for my dolly.
See you next time.
Perhaps you can embed a specialized GPS microchip (like some of the fancier locator dog chips) in the plastic handles. Then you can call the Dolly locator hotline and have them search for the ilustrious missing Dolly! I suppose you'd need to have to correct suffixes -- 1.0, 2.0, etc...
ReplyDeleteAnd you're right. I look around here and see what we have deemed "protectable". WOW!
scott you must suspect that by now men cannot be trained like the dogs are, and that we are the last to (get it) because it just doesnt regester in our man brains that (it) is important, even though (it) is important to the women of the world, in an effort to (get it) we as men will need a complete reboot of our hardrive with many new upgrades that would change us as men into mindless yes men puppies. Jim
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